Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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