I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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