You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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