dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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