Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
