he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
