Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
