i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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