As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Bring me that man meat
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize