my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
