I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
