1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
