he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
