Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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