Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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