so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
