i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
