So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
