Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
