Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
