uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
