at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize