for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
being pregnant is like rehab
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
