she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize