I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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