I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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