im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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