He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
