Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
