don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize