Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
