I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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