The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Randomize
