Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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