We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i came on her dog
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
