i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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