Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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