I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
