used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
