And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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