S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
