Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
