so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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