I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
