The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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