so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
