He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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