Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
time to smoke my breakfast
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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