No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
