these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
