What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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