Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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