we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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