My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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