I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Alive.
So much puke
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
