i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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