Nicole vs. Life
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize