Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
