She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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