I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize