If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
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I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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