There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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