Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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