i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
