a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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