nut hugger
Your mouth is God's brothel.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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