i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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