dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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