My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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